What Are You Afraid Of?

_______________(I took this picture literally 3 minutes before posting this)_____________

I’m just over a day out from my flight, and I’ve been a bit fretful. Not that anything in particular is bothering me still – I think it’s a generalized anxiety about the whole experience. So I thought I’d make a list of things about this trip that worry me, in the hopes that it’ll help me feel better.

I hope my flatmate is nice. I have a fear that she’ll be standoffish. Since I only have one flatmate instead of 3, it might be harder for me to meet people.

I hope I have the fortitude to become the new and improved Sarah that Jennie was telling me about. This is related to the above fear. I can be a whole new, confident person in Scotland, and people there won’t know any better.

I hope this sudden spat of awful weather gets better. As of now my flight, and the one from Miami bringing my plane to Cleveland are on schedule, but we’ll see what happens.

I hope that when I get to the college I will be able to figure out where to go to get myself checked in or whatever.

I hope that I don’t get terribly homesick. Just in the past few days I’ve started feeling the impending sting of missing my family. Hoping that Skype-ing with my mom, sister, Kendra, Jennie, etc. will ease that considerably. By the way, if you readers have anything to say, anything at all, don’t hesitate to leave a comment on my blog. It’ll remind me that you guys are still out there. 

Similarly, I hope my family doesn’t get too sad when I leave. I can picture my mom sitting on my bed and looking around my room and crying when she gets back from the airport. That makes my heart hurt just a little.

I hope my checked baggage doesn’t get lost. I can’t help but remember Joanne and Randy’s experience in Scotland a few years back, when they didn’t get their luggage back until something like 4 months after they got back.

I hope I can get my tail in gear and iron out my Sherlock Holmes papers within a reasonable time frame. Similarly, I hope my classes aren’t too hard for me. Anya and Gimpy both suggested that the classes will be easier than they are here. They are really long, though. That could burn me out.

I hope I can deal with the plane ride. I hope my RLS doesn’t harass me too badly, that I can sleep, that if I do sleep I don’t snore too badly, that I don’t get my flight companions sick, that the air pressure changes don’t hurt me too much.

I hope I can afford this trip!!! I need to ask my dad if he can give me some money to replace what I spent on my doctor visit yesterday. He keeps asking me if I need money, so I shouldn’t be feeling anxious about this.

I hope things aren’t awkward when I stay in Edinburgh for Easter break. I’m not a Christian, and part of me is worried that my hostess will expect Catholic leanings out of me.

I hope I can meet some guys while I’m over there. Not that I’m planning on losing my heart, or anything else, to some exotic foreigner (I don’t know that I believe in all this love crap [Hanson reference! Ka-chow!])], but you know, guys in America mostly ignore me. This is related to bullet points one and two as well.

That might be it. Maybe. Even if it isn’t, I think I’ve accomplished what I set out to accomplish here to the best of my ability. Mom hasn’t been acting weird (like telling me horror stories and worrying about me out loud and stuff), which is odd but as long as I don’t think into it too much it’s much less stressful than it would be otherwise. Dad I haven’t heard express an opinion about it recently, and because he’s a man, and my dad, I’m sure he’s trying to hide how sad he is. He did tell me he was a little jealous of my opportunity, which seems to me to be an encouraging sign.

Finishing up watching Masterpiece Sherlock “The Great Game” for the 6th time. Have to call my internship locale and let them know that I accept the job.

That’s a WHOLE new set of fears. For another time.

(Picture of the early birthday cake Cindy and Mom got for me two nights ago)